Missing My Dad

My father died the summer after I graduated from High School. I struggled with knowing the acceptance, encouragement and provision that I had from him was now gone.

Story Tags

cancer, traumatic experience, relationships, death, loneliness, approval, family

Explore the Story

• Where's God in suffering?
• Craving Acceptance
• Twists and Turns
• Finding True Love
• The Hole in Our Heart

I grew up in a pretty typical family. My parents were very loving and supportive of both my sister and myself. They highly valued individual time with each of us and my Dad spent countless hours helping us with our school work. However,this "typical" family changed when my father died of Leukemia the summer after I graduated from High School.

Because of this, I felt very alone and could not understand why this happened. The hardest part was knowing that the man that loved and cared for me the most would no longer be around. I also struggled with knowing the acceptance, encouragement and provision that I had from him was now gone. I tried desperately to find this in friends and dating relationships. However this searching eventually showed me that I would not find what I needed in other people.

I finally saw that only through God's love would this need of mine be filled. I saw my sister's dependence on Him growing more each day. I also began to seehow God used this loss to bring my mom, my sister, and myself closer together to get through this hard time. I had believed in God since I was a child and knew that he loved me. Yet for the first time I began to realize that God was my Father. He was my heavenly Father that protected me and provided for me just as my earthly Father had done.

I saw God working in the situation when I realized that He would always be with me. That even though my Dad is no longer here I have a Father in Heaven that has chosen me to be his daugther and adopted me into his family.

I have grown so much closer to God through this loss. I saw him take what was probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and use it for His good. I still miss my father, especially when I see a dad walk his daughter down the aisle at a wedding or watch a friend interacting with her father. Yet I am comforted by the peace of knowing my Heavenly Father is an active part of my daily life.